[personal profile] readalicia
This week's short NSFW poemblog is "God's Covering for Her Dumbass Brother Cletus", the actual truth behind the Gnostic tradition! Involving Texas. And Bluegrass.



God's Covering for Her Dumbass Brother Cletus
God's brother Cletus
Woke up from his hangover
Lit up a cig and said
"Give me the keys
Go take a nap and
You scootch that cute thang-over
Then when you're out
I can do as I please."

Cletus was known
For his bad prediliction
of bossing his sister
Since she was a kid
Humoring him
was nasty addiction
but he was still family,
So humor, she did.

Long long ago in the
age of the dinosaurs
Cletus woke up on a
warm Texas day.
Drank up his 40 since
He was a wino, course
It weren't a sin yet
So it was okay.

Cletus, a free god
within a free state
Unbuckled his trousers
To do as he wanted.
All was his playground
To praise and berate
Naked and happy
His body, he flaunted.

Over the hill were two
Tyranosauri
A-getting the busy
As dinosaurs do.
So Cletus got himself
Masturbatori,
"Ain't nuttin' in Heaven
Or Earth wrong with chyou."

Wakka, he went, and
A-wakka they went
And a-wakka together
They wakked on the hill.
They wubbled and woozled
The ground on their fundament
Warbling Cletus,
He drained himself still.

But then he realized the
Tyranosauri
In Tyranosex
With their Tyranothighs
coming together in
In Tyranoglory
Had Tyranerections
And they were both guys.

Putting his pants on
And running to heaven
Which still is in Texas
As all of you know
Cletus woke God up
Upon her new devon
And shaking her shoulder
He blurted out out slow.

"There's nothing that's wrong with me
Has to be wrong with them
Make it be wrong with them
Oh my God, please!
My ego can't take it!
It's easier to condemn
Tyranoqueeros
Than my own unease!"

God had been knowing
That this day was coming,
Since she was omnipotent
Also his kin
Asked him if he would be
rather forthcoming
To tell her what else
That he wanted a sin.

From th'top of his head,
His kids didn't honor him.
Covetting asses, he
thought was a crime.
He didn't like insulting
Pictures drawn of him
"Oh, and, uh, right
There was that other time..."

God took her pencil
And took out a blank sheet
And wrote down Commandments
one after the other
For everything Cletus
Had said he had wanked at
All to obscure
What aroused her poor brother.

Gnostics, we know, called
Cletus a total git
Didn't we listen?
No, we were appalled.
But all of the bad dogma
God doesn't mean it.
She's covering Cletus'
Butt and that's all.
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